Malcolm in the Middle of the Middle
by SandwichesHinderProgress
Summary: Malcolm and his family go on a road trip and find themselves in Orson, Indiana, home of the Heck family.
1. Chapter 1

_Yes, no, maybe, I don't knowCan you repeat the question?_

_You're not the boss of me nowYou're not the boss of me nowYou're not the boss of me now, and you're not so bigYou're not the boss of me nowYou're not the boss of me nowYou're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big_

_Life if unfair_

Malcolm was sitting in the truck that his mother won in a contest five years earlier. As the truck moved, he looked at you through one of the rolled down windows and spoke.

"A lot has happened in the five years since I graduated from high school. We got a new baby brother four years ago named John, so Jamie's no longer the youngest. Dad got a vasectomy after that. Craig got to be the godfather. By the way, Craig is now our uncle. He is married to Aunt Susan, and they have a three-year-old son named Peter Stanley Feldspar. Yeah. Craig's a Marvel fan. They're in the car behind us. Francis and Piama are also in another car so that we can avoid arguments. Mom found out a while ago that Francis has a job. Reese has had some adventures as the high school janitor. I have done a lot of work in college, and I'm still striving towards the future that Mom expects me to have. Dewey got a scholarship. He's going to a great music school in New York City and will probably play at Carnegie Hall. Since he graduated last week, we've been on this family road trip to nowhere."

"Do you even know where we're going, Hal?" Lois asked.

"Of course I know where we're going," Hal said. "We're somewhere in Indiana that has a lot of corn."

They heard a crow kaw as they drove by fields of crops.

"We're in the middle of nowhere," Lois said.

"Don't worry," Hal said. "I'm sure we'll find a place to stay."

Minutes later, they drove into a town called Orson.

"This place looks like it sucks," Reese said.

"Quiet, Reese!" Lois said.

"Strange things are bound to happen during summertime," Frankie narrated. "During this particular summer, we learned a bit more about hospitality."

Someone knocked on the door of the Heck house.

"Mom!" Axl yelled as he sat on the living room couch in his boxers. "Someone's at the door! It's so annoying!"

Frankie walked through the living room and answered the door. She saw Lois and Hal.

"Hello," Lois said. "I'm Lois and this is Hal."

"Hi," Frankie said. "Is this about a bake sale? Because I heard nothing about it. I swear."

"Actually, we're not from this town," Lois said. "We're from…"

"That doesn't matter," Hal said. "What matters is this. We don't have enough money to stay anywhere today. We're on a tight-budgeted family road trip. We were wondering if it wouldn't be any trouble for us to stay here."

"We'll understand if you don't normally let guests stay," Lois said.

"No. Actually, we've had guests. We had a Japanese foreign exchange student here last October. How many of you are there?"

"That's a good question," Hal said awkwardly, turning back to look at the cars. "There's our six sons, our daughter-in-law…"

"My sister, her husband, and their son," Lois added.

"That makes a dozen guests," Frankie said with a fake smile. "Well, bring everyone in! My name is Frankie Heck, by the way."

Hal and Lois signaled for the others to enter the house. Malcolm, Dewey, Reese, Jamie, John, Francis, Piama, Craig, Susan, and Peter entered. Frankie led all of them to the kitchen where her youngest son Brick was reading a book. When Brick was finished reading, he closed the book and looked up. The amount of people in the room surprised him.

"Wow. How long was I reading?"

"These are guests, Brick. They're gonna be staying with us for…a little while."

"Just a day," Lois said.

"So, look around and help yourselves to what you'd like to eat," Frankie said.

"His name is Brick?" Malcolm whispered to Dewey.

"It's better than Malcolm," Dewey said.

"Who are all these people?" Mike asked his wife.

Frankie brought Mike to the living room.

"They were having a family road trip and needed a place to stay, Mike."

"Frankie, we can't house these people for a day. We can't afford it. Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know. Something about them reminds me of…our family."

Reese left the kitchen and sat next to Axl.

"You like sitting on the couch in your underwear?" Reese asked.

"Yeah," Axl answered. "Got a problem?"

"No. I enjoy doing the same thing."

"It's awesome, right?"

"Yeah!"

Brick went upstairs and came back down with another book. Malcolm walked over to him.

"You like to read a lot?" Malcolm asked.

"Yes. The stories and the fonts that the authors use are very interesting."

"So you're pretty smart?"

"I guess."

"Listen to me. Stop acting smart! You have to act normal. If teachers see how smart you are, then you'll be forced to join the Krelboyne class!"

"What's that?"

"You don't wanna find out. Just stop acting too smart. Trust me."

Brick looked worried. At that moment, Sue came out of her room.

"I'm finally gonna eat my chocolate chip muffin!" she said excitedly.

She didn't even acknowledge the guests who were in the house. She ran into the kitchen and opened the fridge. The muffin was not there.

"Where's my chocolate chip muffin?" she asked.

"That was yours?" Craig asked. "Sorry. I ate it."

Sue looked like she was trying to piece it together in her head.

"You ate my chocolate chip muffin? Mom!"

Frankie brought Sue out of the kitchen.

"Who are they?" Sue asked.

"They are guests," Frankie said.

"One of them ate my chocolate chip muffin! I want them to leave."

Sue walked away. Frankie looked at the family with a worried look on her face.

"Just a few minutes of having guests over," Frankie narrated, "and we already have a problem."


	2. Chapter 2

Later on, Axl's friends Darrin and Sean came over.

"Alright guys," Axl said. "Let's rehearse our rockin' music. You guys can come watch if you want."

Dewey, Francis, Malcolm, and Reese followed them into the garage and watched them play guitars and drums.

"You guys rock!" Reese said.

"Have you guys played any shows?" Francis asked.

"Well, not exactly," Darrin answered.

"I managed a band during their tour in Europe a few years ago."

"Can you manage us?" Sean asked.

"I don't have time to manage bands anymore. I have a full-time job."

"Jobs kinda suck," Axl said. "I worked in the movie theater but now I'm a pool lifeguard. It's okay but there aren't many girls my age."

"You know, I used to play guitar," Malcolm said.

"He re-wrote the 'Meow Mix song'," Dewey said. "I brought a keyboard that I can play. You wanna see?"

"Okay," Axl said.

Dewey brought his keyboard from the car and played it in the garage. Axl and his friends watched in amazement as Dewey played a wonderful song note for note.

"Impressive," Axl said. "You wouldn't fit in a band like ours, though."

"Yeah. I guess not. That's okay. I'm going to a music school in New York."

"Good for you," Sean said. "Maybe one day we can be good enough to go to a music school."

When Dewey, Francis, and Malcolm left the room, Reese walked up to the band.

"You guys are pretty cool," Reese said.

"Thanks, dude," Darrin said.

"I didn't have any friends in high school. You guys should be grateful."

"You didn't have any friends?" Axl said.

"Not before. But I have friends now. I'm the high school janitor, and the group of friends I hang out with think I'm really cool. Especially when I use my key to get info out of people's lockers."

"That's totally epic," Axl said.

Meanwhile, Brick was speaking to Jamie and John.

"You guys have got to teach me to be normal!" Brick said.

"Why us?" Jamie asked.

"How old are you?" Brick asked.

"I'm eight."

"That's closer to my age than anyone else in your family. I don't want to act too smart or mature."

"I'm four years old," John said. "What can I do?"

"Good point," Brick said. "I don't want to act too immature."

Brick looked down and whispered.

"Immature."

"For a couple of hours," Frankie narrated, "Jamie showed Brick how to be normal. Jamie ran around the lawn, jumped onto a bush, and tried climbing a tree that he ended up falling off of. Brick didn't do any of that. He just walked around the lawn, made the bush look neat, and stared at the bark on the tree. Meanwhile, Mike was getting to know one of the guests."

Mike and Hal drank beer silently as they watched the television. Hal looked at Mike. His eyes were glued to the screen. Hal was about to say something, but then he stopped. After having another sip, he finally made an attempt at having a conversation.

"Are you looking forward to Father's Day?" Hal asked.

"I guess," Mike answered. "I'm not expecting too much. I know I won't have problems like my wife did last Mother's Day. She wanted to have a day at home by herself, but we ended up going to the carnival without her."

"That's nothing," Hal said. "Ten years ago, I forgot my wife's birthday. She gave my sons Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey money to get her a present and they used it to buy candy. We tried making it up to her and ended up fighting clowns."

Mike laughed.

"It's amazing how wives are capable of forgiving husbands."

"Mother's Day doesn't seem like it was so bad now," Frankie narrated. "At night, Mike and I were worried about the sleeping arrangements."

"They are not all gonna be able to sleep here," Mike said.

"I know," Frankie said. "I just wish that there was someone we knew who enjoyed the company of anybody."

"That's when it hit me," Frankie narrated. "I knew the exact person I was describing."

Frankie called her co-worker, Bob.

"Hey Bob. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind having a few guests sleep over at your house."

"What's he saying?" Mike asked.

"He doesn't mind!"

Mike closed his fists and raised his hands in the air in elation. This was a victory.

"Why do you always have to cause an argument, Francis?" Lois asked.

"I start the arguments? You're the one who hates every single thing that I do and the woman that I married!"

"Francis," Piama said. "How many times do I have to tell you that Lois and I are cool now?"

"Oh no. She got to you."

"See how they argue, Peter?" Susan asked. "You and I are not going to be like that."

Frankie went up to the family.

"We have a full house right now, but I have a friend who would be more than happy to have a few of you over."

"Get rid of the fat one," Sue whispered.

"If I had a place to storm off to, I would!" Francis yelled to Lois.

"You could stay at my friend's house," Frankie suggested.

"Good!"

Francis stormed out of the house. A few seconds later, he walked back inside.

"I'm gonna need the directions."


	3. Chapter 3

Craig, Susan, Peter, Francis, and Piama arrived at Bob's house. Francis knocked on the door. Bob answered.

"Hi. We're Frankie's guests. I'm Francis..."

"Come on in!" Bob said.

"Do you have any food?" Craig asked.

"Definitely."

Bob got some snacks out and watched Craig eat.

"The way that you eat is sexy," Susan whispered.

"Awe," Bob said.

"Gross," Francis uttered.

Later on, when Craig and Bob were alone, Bob asked Craig a question.

"How did you get a wife and a son?" Bob asked.

"I like to think of how this happened in the form of a comic," Craig said. "In the beginning, there was a fat boy who enjoyed doing geeky things. His name was Craig Feldspar. He had no cool friends. When he grew up, he started working at a prestigious store called Lucky Aide. The 'L' stands for 'Value'. He was in love with his co-worker, Lois. He admired her from afar and felt jealous of her husband. He was too shy to admit his feelings for her. Then, one day, a group of robbers tried stealing money from Lucky Aide. They took everyone in the store hostage. They wanted the safe."

"Did you stop them and get the girl?" Bob asked.

"I'm getting there. Amidst all the commotion, Craig revealed his love to Lois. But alas, she rejected him and looked down on any thought he had of the two of them being together. Part of Craig died at that moment, but a new part of him was born. A strong part that was able to throw the safe so hard towards the robbers that it missed and opened up for them to take the money. Years later, Craig finally met Lois' sister Susan. He had heard that they looked alike, but Craig thought that Susan was more beautiful. She wanted what Lois had: a family. And now, here I am. Craig Feldspar!"

"You make it sound easy," Bob said. "I always feel lonely and insecure when it comes to relationships."

"Don't worry, man. You'll have your day. And when that day comes, you can let me know on Facebook."

"Right. Facebook. I'll remember that."

Meanwhile, at the Heck house, Lois, Hal, Reese, Malcolm, Dewey, Jamie, and John slept in the living room. Frankie and Mike watched them and then whispered to each other.

"They are an unusual family," Frankie said.

"Their boys are a little off," Mike said.

"I heard that!" Lois yelled, awakening the rest of her family. "We may not be the best family, but that gives you no right to criticize us! Sure they may be weird and prone to cause trouble, but I bet your family's not perfect either!"

Axl, Sue, and Brick were now awake and watching the argument. Axl was wearing boxers.

"You think I don't know that my family isn't perfect?" Frankie yelled. "My children can be obnoxious at times, but I am aware that they are not perfect! But I am a mother who cares about them no matter what! And I can see that you're that type of mother too!"

The two mothers stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Okay," Lois said. "I think it is clear now that we are both great mothers."

"Yes we are," Frankie said. "Have a good sleep."

"Frankie," Lois called. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Frankie said.

"Ha," Axl said to his siblings. "She called you guys obnoxious."

"You're her son, too," Brick said.

"So?"

"She was also calling you obnoxious," Sue explained.

"Whatever. I'm going to bed now that everyone has stopped being loud and annoying."

The next morning, both families had a big breakfast. Bob and his guests came over to join them.

"Eat your pancakes, everybody," Frankie said.

"These are delicious," Reese said. "Do you like my sausages?"

"They are so good!" Sue said.

"I used different spices. We should e-mail each other about recipes."

"That would be nice," Frankie said.

"Reese really is a great cook," Lois said.

"It's his gift from God," Hal said.

"Daddy," Peter said to Craig. "You ate her muffin."

"I'm sorry that I ate your muffin," Craig said to Sue.

"It's okay," Sue said. "I'm over it. Life is too short to have a grudge on things like these. After this summer, who knows? I could join new clubs, become friends with popular people...Maybe one day I could be like the girls in those movies who didn't think they could be prom queen in high school but end up being prom queen."

"Shut up," Jamie said.

Sue looked a bit discouraged. Lois was happy that Sue stopped talking so much, but she had to look like she cared.

"That was not nice, Jamie. Apologize."

"I'm sorry, Sue," Jamie said.

"Apology accepted. And, like I said, life is short. I will leave it at that."

Dewey went over to talk to Brick.

"Don't listen to Malcolm," Dewey said. "He makes the Krelboyne class sound worse then it might actually be. He tried getting me out of it seven years ago, and I ended up in a class for the mentally disturbed. Just be yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. You have a bright future ahead of you."

"Thanks," Brick said before looking down to whisper. "Thanks."

Later on, the family that came from another state was out of the house.

"Don't forget to write," Frankie said.

"Don't worry," Lois said. "Malcolm will remind us."

"Of course," Malcolm says to you. "I've been assigned a new job during vacation."

"Where are we going now?" John asked.

"I think we have enough money to stay in cheap places along the road," Hal said. "In a week or so, we'll be in Tucson, Arizona!"

The family members got in the cars and drove off into the southwest.

"So if there's a lesson to learned here," Frankie narrated, "it's that there may be families like yours in other towns."


End file.
